I’m back?

So, I’m guessing the unique interaction of brain chemicals that has brought me back to the blog comes from a good long run, the promise of a day off, a trip out of town, some Californication, and, of course, some vodka.

It’s just such a promise of possibility.  What could be. What I could do.  What I have done. Some freedom.  Following my passion. . . whichever one strikes my fancy that day.  Some time away from the normal day-to-day grind is a good reset button. Something to make you stop and think.  Of course, what do I see myself as?  Definitely not as what my current job has me.  I’d love to be a writer, a teacher, a programmer, a speaker.  I could do those things all day, just for fun.  Getting paid for them would be a bonus, of course.  There are mouths to feed and tuitions to pay.

But, I’m glad for the distraction, the delusion that a few days off offers.  A mental health day.

Just getting my thoughts out there does, in some ways, seem quite therapeutic in an of itself.  And I don’t know if I’m alone in being somewhat inspired in watching Californication.  Perhaps I am.  It is likely Hollywood-ed up, as they say.  But there is still something to be said for a character such as Hank Moody that puts it all out there, says what they think, and does what they want.  Of course, the whole distraction of a television show is just that. . . a distraction.  If children are shown throwing up, it’s a comedic bit.  If there is a marital battle, it’s a drama to which I have no connection, and I can feel relieved that I don’t have to worry about such things.  It’s a re-direction of real life.  An escape. A divergence. Completely devoid of responsibility, the need for seeking resolution, or action. It is just a passive endeavor.  And that is what probably makes it such a draw.

But for me, it pushes me to be something else.  And I don’t know why the character of an alcoholic, sex-crazed, poor role model, irresponsible parent and partner speaks to me so much.  Maybe it’s envy.  Wishing to be like that.  Wanting to shed all of the artificial and true responsibilities to pursue the more bacchanal life.  One can dream. One can dream.

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